In the immediate aftermath of what has now come to be know "Black Cat Down", Private Lynched was captured by enemy forces, and taken to a hospital. The coalition forces immediately set about planning a pinpoint photogenic rescue operation. For this they enlisted the help of the Special Forces.

The Special Forces entered the hospital where Jessica was being held captive by enemy nurses. Encountering no resistance, they fought back fiercely. It became apparent however that they had to move quickly as they were running low on blanks, and would have to switch to the much more dangerous live rounds, which have caused many friendly fire incidents in the past, and are generally frowned upon in today’s Army.

Due to the terms of her Army HMO plan Private Lynched had to leave in a stretcher, but as the Special Forces medic said: "She wanted to walk and maybe shoot at a few Iraqis, but our squad lawyer decided that it would invalidate her coverage. So we told her she had to stay in the stretcher with her arms inside." He added: " Private Jessica Lynched is awesome. I can’t stop thinking about Private Lynched. She’s cool." The squad lawyer later concurred with the medic’s story, adding only that by cool, he meant totally sweet.

Private Lynched back home in a private nighttime moment.

A true patriot and hero, Private Lynched is now involved in four book deals and ligitation over movie rights. The free world sleeps safer knowing she’s on watch.

If you’d like your own million dollar book and movie deal, why not join the army?